last night i had a dream

naked dream...frisbee...walking through neighborhoods to get to field...waking up in a bed with everyone looking down at me...why was i naked?

A naked dream. I was walking with some people to a field, through neighborhoods that in retrospect remind me a little of Villanueva de la Cañada, where I lived in Spain for a week in 8th grade. We were on our way to play frisbee and everyone was following me because I knew where the field was. There was a big mix of kids: City at Peace people, Michigan people, Blair people. I got to the field first and there were already a couple of kids throwing a disc around. I threw a couple with them and then the next thing I knew I was racing, buck-ass naked, after a deep huck. But I realized halfway there that I wasn't wearing any clothes and alarm bells started going off. So I turned around, hand over privates, and sprinted back towards my clothes to general laughter and shouts of encouragement for those closest to me to get a look. I tried desperately to pull my shorts back on as discreetly as possible and people started crowding around. I woke up in a bed with those same people looking over me. Other things happened in the dream but they are less clear. It was the first naked dream I can remember having.

Last night I went with Mom to get dinner and go see "Mar Adentro," which I thought was directed by Pedro Almodóvar but was in fact directed by Alejandro Amenábar. It's a movie about assisted suicide, for those not in the know, and it's among the most moving and beautiful movies I've ever seen. As I have mentioned here before, I am not prone to tears during movies, or books for that matter, but this was the second during which I had to wipe away tears. Perhaps I'm becoming more empathetic? Or perhaps I care less what implications my crying carries to the people around me? I'm not sure. In any event, the talk afterwards (this was part of Mom's office's Science in the Cinema series at AFI Silver, which is such a cool thing) was by a pretty high-powered guy in the field of bioethics and particularly as relates to end-of-life issues. But his comments were extremely brief and I thought pretty unsatisfying. The movie is not really about the science of assisted suicide or euthanasia, no doctors are involved. Its real themes, to my view, are relationships and selfishness (or lack thereof). It would have been better, perhaps, to have someone NOT a medical doctor (perhaps someone from the Hemlock Society?) give the talk. To be fair, I think he was thrown a little by the first question, by a man clearly out of touch with the context, who, with some doggedness, asked about stem cell research and aborting fetuses.

Right this instant I must go shower, but I will soon hold forth on Barry Bonds, about whom I've discovered I feel quite strongly. Oh yes, the big news from yesterday was really that I had my check-up with Dr. Kline and my blood pressure is totally, 100% normal. What a relief. I had lunch with Dad at Firehook Bakery afterwards, which was really nice (thanks, Dad!) and where I realized definitively how fired up this whole Bonds thing gets me.

boston legal

Is an incredibly sexist show. But it's hilarious and clever and fun to watch, so at first I didn't really notice. Now I do, all the time; it's not exactly subtle once you start noticing. I suppose this is probably true of most things in our culture; I think it was Last Plantation (although I'm not sure) where I read about the online flight magazines, which I had never noticed are totally dominated by photographs of white people, even on flights that are majority-minority, such as the one I took from San Salvador from DC. Racism and sexism and homophobia are most clear in overt forms, obviously. Matthew Shepherd, Pennsylvania crowds railing against "illegals," the Supreme Court ruling against women in that whole pay raise thing. It's far more difficult to notice, and far more difficult to call others' attention to, things like the sexism on Boston Legal. After all, some of the women appear powerful. They are confident, articulate, demanding and usually win arguments. But sexually they are clearly inferior to the male protagonists. The women are unlucky in love, either because they get the wrong guy, or they can't have the guy they want, or what have you (I won't even get into the episode where the young black female attorney basically uses her body to scam a pervert pastor/lawyer into settling a case). Then men all, by virtue of the same confidence that the women show, get pretty much any woman they want, when they want. Bully for them.

The problem for me, here, is that I like Boston Legal. I feel guilty for enjoying it, and I'm torn over whether my objections to some of the show's undercurrents should be enough to make me stop watching. What really makes me uncomfortable is that the sexist part is fun/funny, too. Sexist and racist jokes make me laugh sometimes and I don't know whether that's wrong or not. I know those topics are not funny and I try hard in my life to fight the inclinations I and those around me have in that regard. But what about humor? I don't know this is coming out all wrong. Maybe it'd be better to come back to it when I've got my thoughts a little more organized. Interesting topic, though.

election day

Did I go to New York this weekend to see Halley in a play? Was the play called "Election Day?" Was the other purpose of my visit to see Peaches and the Herschkowitzes? Would that be a good name for a band? Did I like the play? How are Jenny and Julie? Did I go out for drinks after the play with Halley and a bunch of the cast and crew? Was that fun? Did I eat delicious challah french toast on Sunday morning? Did Peaches and I hang out in her new apartment and then walk around the West Village for a while? Was that great, seeing her? Did I also see the Richard Serra exhibit at MOMA? Did I pay more attention to Peaches than the exhibit, but still enjoy the show? What did we talk about then? Where was that drag queen in the furniture shop from? Did I read a short story by Donald Barthelme called "Concerning the Bodyguard"? What did I think of it? Did Mom and I have really nice drives both ways? Did our topics include the Oxford English Corpus, theology, and internet ethics? Was my new cell phone waiting for me when I got home? Did I talk to Vale on Friday night, and again on Sunday? Is it strange and hard to talk to her on the phone? Is it worth it? How is she doing? Did I play frisbee last night with the Blair clique team, and did we lose 15-11? Was it fun? Did Lincoln and I finish the guest bedroom in Erin and Arthur's house? Was Cori there this afternoon and did we get to talk for the first time in weeks? How was her trip in Bolivia? Did it sound like a nightmare? Did I do prep for painting the hall? Was dinner delicious tonight, and did it consist of orange-mint lamb, corn on the cob and pasta? Is that a lot of starch? Did I talk briefly to Nora and am I going to call her in a little bit? Did Vale's postcard get here? What am I going to do tonight?

What was that short story about?

i finished harry potter

Because people who give spoilers are basically on par with violent felons, I'll refrain on saying anything about it, period.

Other than that, things have been going all right here, I suppose. Mom, Dad and Linc are all pretty busy, but I'm still waiting for word from Sparks and Jack is sick still from El Salvador, so he and I have been chilling at home. I emailed our landlord today and applied for a couple of work-study jobs in Ann Arbor for this coming year. However I'm still not sure what to do about spending money; SAT tutoring came to mind today as I searched CraigsList.

Judy and I went out for coffee tonight. It was nice to catch up, and also to drive around a little bit, as cumbersome and useless as the car is at the distances I was traveling (my house-Mayorga-downtown Silver Spring). She seems to be making the most of her summer, working at a nonprofit in DC and biking and although Bethesda is suffocating her, she's getting along fine. Talking about being abroad is nice in general--lord knows I've learned enough things and had enough unusual experiences to fill at least one decent conversation with anyone--despite the fact that it brings my mind to Vale and Rodrigo and Cecilia and the other people I miss and the people I missed the chance to get to know enough to miss. And Vale. But talking to someone who has been abroad recently is so much easier because the shared experience, although we may have gone to such different places, is very powerful.

Dad, Linc and I went to Deb's on Monday night. It was kind of boring and not very fulfilling, which is an unusual experience there. But really there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of tension in the house right now. Stress, to be sure, but we're not taking it out on each other. In other news, I've fallen back into my old practice of reading eight hundred books at the same time; right now they include: Super Fiction, Forty Stories by Donald Barthelme, Cotidianas by Mario Benedetti, Harry Potter (which I obviously just finished, but like 20 minutes ago, so it counts), and Ficciones, plus the usual New Yorker, Outlook, New York Review articles. I've been laying off the blogs, though. It's interesting, when I was in Chile they provided an intellectual link with the day-to-day issues that I care about at home and I drank them in effortlessly and eagerly. But now that I'm here they remind me mostly of sitting next to Vale in her apartment in Santiago de Chile, of how strange it was to be keeping in touch with the goings-on up here through the opinions of other people rather than just by simply being at home.

Anyhow I've got to rise and shine tomorrow, to await word from Sparks and then go to the dentist at 10:15. Hope I've got a car, walking there would suck shit through a wet paper straw, as a certain recent houseguest might say (although he was talking about the Yale University bureaucracy). One last note before I conk out: WHEN IS IT GOING TO FREAKING THUNDERSTORM!?!?!??!!? I feel ripped off.

at home

Jack comes home tonight and we will finally be all five of us together again. Being at home is really wonderful and also really strange and hard. Details and reflections will come about that in time (I know I've written that before but I need to keep telling myself to do it or too much time will pass). Really I just wanted to post about how happy I am that I'll get to see Jack again today after so much time.

leaving so soon

Vale made me promise not to use my computer at all tomorrow, so I figured I'd better post now because my next opportunity will be Friday. First, I've got another book for the list: Social Origins of Dictatorship and Democracy by Barrington Moore. Okay, now that I've got that out of the way, it's time to write a little about what's going on here.

Yesterday Vale and I went to Rodrigo and Cecilia's for a good-bye dinner, which was lovely despite one last Transantiago nightmare getting there. We laughed a lot, as usual, and stayed so late that we ended up spending the night even though Vale had work this morning. It was strange saying bye, I've gotten pretty close with that family over the past few months and I will miss them a lot. Today Ceci drove us to the metro bright and early and Vale went to work and I fell asleep. On waking up I had my second round of good-byes, in the COPA office, to Isa and Katty. I haven't been as close to either of them this semester and it was a little weird and awkward, but they have also been very important this year for obvious reasons and I'm glad I went. Tonight we'll go one last time to the Pilars', but not for dinner. David and I talked last week about me going over there for lunch one day but he never called back to tell me when I should come over and I didn't call him back, either. I'll also leave without seeing the Diaz family one last time. I regret not having made a greater effort to get over there (it's been months since my last visit). Good-byes are awkward and hard and I've shied away from a lot of them or avoided going out of my way for them, which I'm not exactly proud of. I wish I could have said bye to the frisbee crew, but the game got called off yesterday because of rain. Tomorrow I'll spend with Vale, who of course will be the hardest good-bye of all, and then at about 3 on Thursday morning a van will come pick me and my mountain of stuff up (and hopefully Vale) and take us to the airport and away from Chile for a long time. But not forever, and hopefully not even for that long. I love this country and certainly some of its people and there is still so much for me to learn and see and do here.

Some real reflections on the past year will come along soon but not now.

some brief friday notes

My two desert-island albums, I have realized conclusively (by "conclusively" I mean "because they have remained an unchanged pair for several years") are London Calling by the Clash and, of course, as anyone who knows me knows, the greatest album of all time, Graceland, by Paul Simon. The one a furious, musically and lyrically brilliant assault against the establishment and the other the product of a songwriter grappling beautifully with the onset of middle age and a painful divorce. The first, of course, is Graceland, the second, London Calling. Just kidding.

The rain in Santiago is paradoxical and cruel, I think whatever god reigns over Santiago weather has Bush's Iraq planners advising on winter weather patterns. A cap of cold air traps smog in Santiago (our presence in Iraq, which provokes massive violence there), rain comes in every once in a while to briefly clean things up ("surges"), but that same rain makes the air colder, meaning more air gets trapped (surges repress violence for a couple of days and then people just get more pissed and more violent). Then again, if it didn't rain, the smog would keep getting worse with no relief. And here I see the problem in my metaphor: The surges don't actually provide any relief at all except to the demented, divorced-from-reality people in charge. The rain does. Also the rain dramatically improves the view: The Andes are gorgeous again. So, an imperfect metaphor. Still, the vicious-cycle parallels are interesting.

One thing that comes up a lot when meeting and talking to Chileans, especially those of the university variety, is about the domestic problems of the US. Here the greatest social problems are income equality and, more specifically but just as embarrassingly, centuries of abuse, repression and neglect of Chile's substantial Mapuche minority. The correlating deep, embarrassing and infuriating social problem in the US, I would (and do, frequently) argue, is racism. Recently I've started reading more about the immigration debate going on at home, and it's obvious to pretty much anyone with an ounce of sense that the underlying conflict is fear and hatred of "brown people." The xenophobia of everyone from Lou Dobbs to the "Minutemen" of Texas and Arizona to some of the residents of Hazletown, PA (h/t Orcinus, post "Hatin' on Immigrants") makes me shake with anger. I want to get on a roll here, but because I really should be working on my Electoral Systems final, I'm going to come full circle and end with the Clash's take on anger in "The Clampdown":

Let fury have the hour, anger can be power
Do you know that you can use it?

Amen.

P.S. A new blog is going up in the links: ImmigrationProf Blog, which is written by a trio of law professors at UC Davis. Represent.

P.P.S. ¡NINGÚN SER HUMANO ES ILEGAL!

it's rainin' water

I'm back in the Isidora Goyenechea Starbucks for the first time in along time. There's no way I'd be back here on my own except that at 8 COPA is taking me, four other kids and a bunch of gringo study abroad advisors out to dinner at a really nice restaurant, Isla Negra, on El Bosque. Seeing as that's three blocks from here, and seeing as I needed a change of scenery in order to buckle down a little, I'm here now.

The buckling down is mostly in the form of working on my two final essays. I'm still kind of in the dark about what each will deal with specifically. That's okay for the European Political Economy one, because all that's due next week is a presentation outlining what I'm going to talk about. So I need some idea of a thesis and structure, but nothing really research-based or overly specific. Electoral Systems, however, is a bigger issue. It's due on Tuesday and I'm still not entirely sure what's going on with it. I've been snooping around on JSTOR (long live JSTOR!), but now I will expound for a couple of minutes in hopes of clearing this business up.

In new democracies, social cleavages tend to get defined early on and have deep historical roots. According to one school of thought, these early cleavages remain fundamentally unchanged throughout the evolution of the democracy. For example, in France the most fundamental cleavage is thought to be the rural-urban divide, and that divide still rules the day in French politics. It takes different forms and is seen across various levels of society: industrial labor verus agriculture, churchgoing country dwellers versus non-churchgoing urbanites, etc. This fundamental divide is the basis for the party breakdown in modern France, as such fundamental cleavages form the foundation for party breakdowns in most democracies. However, rapidly growing integration has led to huge immigrant and minority populations that are changing the scene: Witness the victory of Sarkozy, a Reagan-esque nationalist (thanks to Juan Cole for that particular comparison) whose campaign made use of white French people's reactionary fears of Muslim immigrant unrest. The same kinds of divides are coming to the fore in England, Spain, Germany, the United States (obviously) and even in the traditionally homogeneous Scandinavian countries like Sweden and Denmark. These are all highly developed, very stable Western democracies. But what of the less developed, newer European democracies who are participating in the same breakneck economic integration as those countries mentioned above, but without the accompanying influx of immigrants; i.e. what's up with countries whose populations are still remarkably homogeneous--religiously, ethnically, linguistically--like Ireland, Portugal, Poland and Greece? How do party politics break down in those countries, and how are they changing? Perhaps I should hypothesize that divides in those countries (I have to pick three, but that can be later) have to do traditionally with religious versus non-religious groups (i.e. commies), but increasingly have to do with protectionist/traditionalists versus integrationalist/progressives. That's a thought. Then again might be a bit ambitious for a ten-page paper with no time for original research. Still, good start. Good job, freewriting Luke.

BUT, the really big news of today is that it's raining and raining. This morning and early afternoon saw veritable torrents (relatively speaking, of course), and after a mid-afternoon break it's raining lightly but steadily now. Apparently this will continue for a couple of days, which means two very, very wonderful things: First, the mountains will look spectacular as soon as the clouds go away; and second, the air is clean as hell. It's so strange it is to grow accustomed to things a quarter of a mile away being hazy and indistinct in the middle of the day and then all of a sudden being able to see individual trees on a hill miles distant; like walking around all day wondering why things don't look quite right, then realizing that one of your glasses lenses has a substantial smudge on it, then cleaning it off and remembering what things are supposed to look like.

I posted a video the last time this happened, but today's rain-induced happiness can't quite measure up to the giddy ecstasy of that other day, because the wait hadn't been as long. So no video today. Still, frisbee is going to be 85 billion times better on Sunday because the air will be pristine. Oh baby! And now, it's time to get back to work. Profe Altman sent me an article by Alberto Alesina about fractionalization, complete with table of measurements of the ethnic, linguistic and religious fractionalization of almost 200 countries. Hott with two t's.

P.S. That link to Cole above is worth checking out; I know nothing about French politics so for all I know he's totally wrong, and his interests are certainly biased in favor of the Muslim world, but it's still a very interesting brief analysis.

P.P.S. The bathroom of this Starbucks smells fantastic.

weekend in brief

First, everyone should check out this really cool video that Dad sent me by email. I highly suggest watching the whole thing:

500 YEARS OF WOMEN IN ART


Anyhow, highlights of the weekend include me driving for the first time in almost 11 months, yesterday. I made crab cakes for Vale and her aunt and uncle (the kids got tuna with mustard, which is apparently a house favorite), and Vale and I had to go to the grocery store to pick up some key ingredients, like crab meat. So I drove Rodrigo's car to Alto Las Condes and back. It was kind of nerve-wracking getting in, just because it had been so long, but as soon as we started going it was fun and easy. Helped that it was Sunday morning and the road's weren't exactly crowded. And then, on the way back, instead of going straight to Rodrigo and Cecilia's house, I drove past it a little ways and pulled into a little mini parking lot/lookout type place, and passed the keys to Vale. She's 28 years old and had never driven a car, not even in a parking lot. So she had her first driving experience; she wasn't bad for a first-timer although the whole staying-in-your-lane thing would have been a problem had there been any other cars around. Pays to live waaayyyy out there.

Also we watched "Goodbye Lenin," a very sweet German movie about a kid from East Germany growing up and coming of age during the fall of the USSR. I liked it a lot, and so did Vale, although she fell asleep for about the last 20 or 30 minutes. We watched with Spanish subtitles and I got everything except for a couple of words here and there (like maybe 8 total the whole movie), which was a good feeling.

Yesterday also was my first time back at frisbee after a two-week absence, and despite having eaten a crab cake sandwich and fries before playing, which caused a few issues towards the beginning, I played really well and had a great time. Afterwards of course included a trip to Tortilla Factory. Blackberry, raspberry, banana, apple and blueberry smoothie and a cup of coffee plus the house corn chips and salsa...perrrrfect. Vale wanted to go buy some tea after that at a hoity-toity tea store in Alto Las Condes, so we walked across the street. I also hadn't just kind of mosied and people-watched and window-shopped in a mall for a long time. Malls, love them or hate them, are interesting places. We went into a couple of book stores trying to find a copy of Intérprete de Emociones (Interpreter of Maladies) but the translated edition is apparently out of print and sold out everywhere. Vale also dragged me into various clothing stores and made me try on coats. If I had money to burn I'd like to buy a nice pea-coat-type thing, the ones I tried on were really comfortable and I like the way they look. But the cheapest one was like 150 bucks (which, I suppose, isn't that much in the long run, but it's too much for me right now), so my very nice parka and various sweatshirts and fleeces will suffice just fine for the time being.

We're reading right now, in European Political Economy, about the adjustments that OECD (Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development--basically Europe, North America, some Latin America, and E/SE Asia) countries have had to make over the last 30 years to their trade and monetary policy and also to their welfare states. I think the latter is what I'm going to write my final paper about for the class. How countries like Sweden and Denmark, which have powerful social-democratic welfare states that, to me, seem overwhelmingly fairer and more appealing than the residual welfare states (bascially, no help until you're screwed, and then not very much) of the Anglo countries or the corporatist, conservative welfare states of Germany and Austria (extremely compartmentalized and unevenly distributed help based on job category). The de-commodification of labor in the Norwegian countries is wonderful but they are the most vulnerable to collapse under current structural (globalization, general aging of the population) and institutional (the EU, weakening of labor organizations) changes. It sucks for them, and I think how they respond to those changes has been and is going to be really interesting and instructive. Can they make it without compromising their whole systems, and what are they doing to try?

Speaking of which, I should eat breakfast and then get reading. We've got class today for the first time in months because we missed a couple of Wednesdays and need to make them up. Hope you enjoyed the video.