marching and sit-ins

Well, the run-up to the sit-in is officially underway. The police have sealed off several roads around the red area, where the office is, as well as the trunk road from Peshawar, which is the capital of the one province where the main protesting party, PTI, is in power. That's no inconvenience for me since I'm living right out the back door and across the driveway. But it's a major inconvenience for all of my colleagues, not to mention hundreds of thousands of other people. It'll be interesting to see how things play out over the next few days. Will the protesters succeed in removing or going around the roadblocks and through the tear gas and rubber bullets that the cops are already using closer to Peshawar? Will transportation within Islamabad be affected, or just on the roads connecting it to the airport and Rawalpindi? How long will all this last, given that winter is coming? Will the PM or Supreme Court make a move that mollifies the protesters?

Nobody seems to know. Anyway, the security threat to me is nil, so the only things I'm worried about from a selfish perspective are being able to find a place to live and a car to drive. Also, finding out when I'm going to get the rest of my stuff, which is apparently stuck in customs in Lahore.

Today was pell-mell: I had back-to-back meetings almost all day, and at the end AI told me to write my objectives and send them to him tonight. One thing that's dawning on me is the sheer volume of (digital) paper that I'm eventually going to be responsible for reviewing and signing off on: every single concept note, proposal, communication item, and internal strategy or report. Also, the SPO for health gave me an introduction this morning to our health portfolio, and one of the things he said at the end was that no one is going to give me a budget, but everyone acknowledges that my department's work is critical. So it'll be up to me to build funding into every proposal, and to build my team that way. I knew that, but him saying it so plainly brought it home in a good way.

Now it's time to leave the office and go to the gym. Enough work for one day, there's always tomorrow.

halloween part 2

Last night turned out to be my Islamabad scene debut. I joined TR at a high school friend of his's house in E-7, the richest sector, for a pre-party drink. The woman's mother is a big-time politician -- the girl had a picture of herself as a ~12-year-old with Musharraf in her room. It's a strange picture, he's holding one of his hands in front of her neck at an odd angle. We played music and danced a bit with the small group that was there, mostly this high school crew but also two people from the Russian embassy who I'd met on Thursday night. 

As we were getting ready to leave I got my first real glimpse of Pakistani domestic master-servant relationships. Quite unlike anything I've ever seen in the States, or pretty much anywhere I've been, in the raw and open inequality of it. A servant, also a young woman, came to put our host's sweater on, and host accepted it without acknowledgement. Then host pretended to ash her cigarette on the servant and pantomimed slapping her, all while laughing. The servant laughed, too, and I tried very hard not to project my assumption about what was going through her mind onto her. Everyone else stood there half-watching and finishing their drinks, and then we left. The staff at the Serena are solicitous, sometimes extremely so, compared to a place like Dushanbe or Kabul, and I've always chalked that up to the colonial/feudal legacy of this society. But I never lose the sense that they're employees and I'm a guest; there's no intimacy. This interaction was weirdly intimate.

Anyway off we went to a rooftop party in F-6, the sector where I'm likeliest to live. They'd gone full-out with the decorations: skeletons, cobwebs, lights, the works. And pretty much everyone was dressed up. There were two other people who'd done the same Google search as me and had variants of the Error 404 costume. I got my picture taken with one of them, a nice guy who works for a company that manufactures MMA equipment. Several people told me throughout the night that I'd met most of the Islamabad party scene there, hence the comment with which I started this post. It was a mix of Pakistanis and expats, including only 3-4 Americans. A couple of people insisted to me that I could not be American because I don't have an American accent, including a woman from California who's even fresher off the boat than I am. Pretty much everyone reacted positively when I say I work for AKF, which is a nice discovery. They expect me to be a diplomat. Anyway there was music and dancing and then the cops came (to the gate downstairs, they would never enter) to tell everyone to be quiet. Very college. 

We trickled out and went to the next party, where I met a few more people and watched various little dramas play out from a vantage point on the arm of a couch, next to my new friend Jennifer, from Iowa by way of DC. She knew or knew of NR's mom, naturally. It is a small world. Spent some time talking to a Pakistani guy who'd been a US marine and is now walking the length of Pakistan to raise money for disaster risk reduction supplies for communities in the north, and to raise awareness of an ecotourism company he's started to bring people up there. 

Eventually the group that I've been inducted into (at TR's invitation, including MM the morning-TV host and a couple of others) decided it was time for very early breakfast at a 24-hour place nearby. We ate paratha (flat bread that's somewhere between naan and a soft taco) with spicy chickpeas and slow-cooked beef. It was all greasy and delicious, although I got hiccups from the spiciness. And it was nice to sit on this little patio in the small hours of the morning and chill out after the loud parties. 

All in all, a long but fun evening. Agreeing to speak on that panel in September is looking like one of the best decisions I've made all year because it's where I met GM, who introduced me to TR, who has been an incredibly friendly and generous host. I thanked him for inviting me out last night, and he said that after the time it took him to get access to the scene after being away (he's Pakistani-Dutch and lived in Europe and the States for a time after growing up in Islamabad), he was glad to help me out. Always easier to have someone make introductions than to try to force one's way in.

Woke late today with a bit of GI trouble, I suspect from the 24-hour breakfast. Debated whether or not to go to ultimate but decided it would be wiser to stay near a bathroom than to run around. RF came by the hotel a couple of hours ago and we hung out for a bit in the cafe. He's also very friendly and someone I'm glad to have met so quickly.

I've got a bit of work to do now, and then I may see if my Canadian colleague CK is interested in dinner somewhere other than the buffet restaurant. Or I may just get room service and watch a movie. 

Tomorrow it's back to the office, and, if Adeel can manage it, a few more potential-home visits. I started the process of opening a local bank account on Friday, apparently it takes a few days. If we ever do hire another expat while I'm here, my experience will be a useful reference point for making sure their onboarding is a bit smoother and better-organized than mine has been. 

halloween

Last night went to one of my new acquaintances' apartment in the diplomatic enclave, where he'd put together some food and what turned out to be a pretty impressive amount of beer, wine, and vodka. Not particularly interested in getting super drunk, so I kept a lid on and just enjoyed meeting a bunch of new people, including a guy with whom I bonded over having first names we share with unfortunate historical figures -- in his case, the last Shah of Iran.

It seems I could party pretty hard in Islamabad if I wanted to. I don't, but for the time being I'm sticking with my resolution not to turn down social invitations. My commitment to that is such that in a minute, I'm going tear myself away from the UM-MSU game and head to a Halloween party. Only managed a pretty lame makeshift costume: a white t-shirt on which I've written "Error 404: costume not found." Oh well, better than nothing. Plus I ruined a shirt to make it, which counts for something.

Go Blue.

loose movements

Possibly my all-time favorite euphemism is "loose movements," learned years ago now from a colleague at Focus in Kabul. After nearly a week, they have begun. Not sure what to credit. I ate some home cooking at lunch on Tuesday with my new colleagues -- they all bring food from home and then share, which is a tradition I'll have to join fully once I have a kitchen. But I assiduously avoided raw veggies and fruit and no worries. Yesterday I had some nuts in AI's office while we were on a call, so maybe that was it? Dinner at the French club was all cooked. Survey says: nuts.

Anyway it's alright, I've had much worse in the past, and it was bound to happen eventually. Let the gut microbiota adjustment begin.

Also, the office has begun to clear out a bit early, because one of the opposition political parties is starting to block a few of the roads leading to Rawalpindi. AI and the security guy, WA, decided to let the Rawalpindi-based staff go before it gets too bad. The protests weren't supposed to start in earnest until next Wednesday but I guess some people got excited. The protesters, led by a cricket-star-turned-populist-politician named Imran Khan, hate the ruling party and its chief, the current PM, Nawaz Sharif. And he's been embroiled in the Panama Papers scandal, which gives a lovely justification for demonstrations. I don't know nearly enough about the politics or backstory here to have much of a view on whom to root for.

No one seems especially worried, even though the last time there was a dharna - sit-in - by Khan's party, PTI, in 2014, it lasted four months. It shouldn't affect me too much, as my whole orientation in Islamabad is in the other direction from the road blockages.

Now, to put the finishing touches on the concept note we've been working on all week, send it in, open a bank account, and decide whether my GI tract will permit me to go out tonight. At the very least I'm going to the Argentine embassy event at the Serena that I was invited to, unless of course it's been canceled because of the protests. Fingers crossed.

the coolabah club

Tonight I went to my first Islamabad party. One of the Pakistani women I met just before leaving the States introduced me, via Facebook, to her best friend's younger brother (the siblings are half-Dutch, half-Pakistani), who lives here. I got in touch with him once I arrived and he invited me out tonight to what is apparently a monthly gathering at the Australian High Commission's bar, aka the Coolabah Club.

He and a friend of his picked me up at the hotel and we drove to the diplomatic enclave here. Took a couple of tries to get in because I don't have a credential yet -- it's not enough anymore to be foreign, apparently, they've tightened security around the bigger embassies. But we got in and went first to the French club for dinner, where a couple other friends of theirs met us, and then drove a short distance to the Australian party. As a generally friendly and extraverted person, it's fun to be the new guy. Like in Kabul, expats here are curious and outgoing, and I spent the night being introduced to this person and that person and being invited to various parties and events, including a weekly ultimate frisbee game. Plus I found out there are pork connects, which is just the best kind of news.

Tomorrow is going to be really busy at work, and then I've been invited to two things: the first is an opening reception for an art show by an Argentine artist, hosted by the Argentine embassy (helloooo, opportunity to speak Spanish!); the second is a vodka-and-cheese-tasting party hosted by my new acquaintance RF, who gave me a lift home tonight and is from the UK.

Promising start to my social life here, I have to say. 

jet lag awake is the worst kind of awake

Barely slept last night, seems my jet lag is getting worse. Lame. Late morning today I went out with AS, the operations/admin guy, to look at places to live, and by the end I was barely awake and my head hurt so much that I was nauseous. Not a migraine, just my body saying, LIE THE FUCK DOWN ALREADY. So I listened, and took a nap. Wise choice. Ended up having a productive afternoon/evening.

Some comments on the houses: The standard of workmanship and care in this country, in the richest neighborhoods in the city, is straight-up shoddy. A couple of the places were gross-dirty, lots of exposed wires, horrible light fixtures, broken steps. But the last place was quite nice, which was a nice surprise, and it was the cheapest one. It's an annex (a guest house, more or less) behind a large house in one of the two neighborhoods I'd been considering. Living area and kitchen on the first floor, two bedrooms and bathrooms on the second floor. Huge backyard, tons of plants, and a big dog named Simba. So that's promising. Will probably look at a few more places before making a decision but that one looks solid.

Highlight from today: AI took me down to the little gallery area at the hotel in the late afternoon for an event celebrating the 50th anniversary of the ADB. So I met the German ambassador, Danish deputy ambassador, head of DfID, head of European Union cooperation office, and head of KfW, all in a span of about 20 minutes. That part of the job is going to be really fun. The internal coordination part of the job is going to be the draining part.

And now, to vegetate in front of the TV, call M&D, and sleep (I hope against hope).

in the books

Ended up awake later than I hoped last name, but I think I can still chalk that up to jet lag, and also deciding to plow through the rest of Managing to Change the World, which is fabulous and which I will be returning to frequently, probably for the rest of my career; also recommending it to everyone. Still wasn't really feeling any nerves throughout the day today.

The day ended up being a little disjointed, which is both fine and something for me to work on, at least with my own hiring. How an organization brings new employees on board says a lot about its systems and priorities. Folks here know all the things they're supposed to do, and they'll get done, but it all feels a little seat-of-the pants. Still, took care of some key stuff today: got a local SIM, signed some documents, met with AI, got introduced to most of the office, met with HR. Still not sure exactly what my day-to-day will look like but we set a timeline to create objectives for my team and myself (Friday) and it'll all become clear in time.

Went to the gym, which felt very good, and then had dinner with my Canadian colleague CK, who's here for a couple of weeks running the aforementioned workshop. He's nice and knowledgeable and we talked candidly about Issues We Have Seen Or Continue To See in our time in the Network. For example, the marginalization of women at the senior leadership level, which we agree is (1) shitty and hypocritical and (2) our (CK's and my) responsibility to do something about, even if in small ways.

Three side notes:

• I have been practicing my card handling skills. Getting much better at color change and starting to learn the double lift. Almost ready to start learning my first sleight-of-hand trick. What I should do is learn a few of the Giobbi non sleight-of-hand tricks, but they're just not as sexy.
• Currently thinking through what my training goals should be while I'm here. I will be on the road more than before, so while I'll join a gym, I won't always have access to one. Under consideration: gymnastic skills like handstand and planche, jump rope skills/endurance, C2 rower for time.
• Also it would be fun to learn some dance steps that I can do on my own. I like dancing and have rhythm (or at least am not rhythm-deaf), but have never been very good at it. 

We shall see how all these hold up as the job starts to take over, but if I could spend an hour or two a week practicing c walking and cards I bet I could get from novice to basic pretty quickly. 

Now to drink some mint tea, brush my teeth, and go to sleep. Tomorrow is more meetings with sector heads and heads of partner agencies, and then in the afternoon going with the head of administration (who also oversees security) to look at places to live. 

first-day jitters, or lack thereof

I accidentally slept until 1 PM today, after ignoring my 8:30 alarm with an "oh I'll just doze for a minute." Only woke up to a call from my new colleague SCK, who was in the cafe with her husband, having lunch, and wanted to know if then was a good time to meet about the LGL concept note that's due on Friday. We'd agreed yesterday that we should meet up today. So I scrambled into some clothes, put my laptop in my backpack, and went downstairs.

We chatted for a bit while I ate a sandwich and drank some coffee, and then who should show up but AI, the bossman himself, looking very stylish in a brownish shalwar kameez and fancy vest. He had planned to meet MU, who's the head of AK Rural Support Prog, before going together to a meeting with the Chief Minister of GB. But he was early or MU was late, so he sat down with us and talked for a while, mostly about politics -- I listened for the most part. Then SCK's husband left and MU arrived, and we talked about LGL.

After parting ways SCK and I went up to the executive lounge, in a part of the hotel I'd never been to, to get into some more depth. It's a frustrating project because the solicitation is uncommonly vague and unclear: as SCK pointed out, it even confuses what are normally different levels of a results framework or logic model (e.g. some objectives look like intermediate results, some objectives look like outcomes). Anyway we got our next steps together and that's good.

AI was supposed to come back to the hotel after his meeting but never did, which is fine. Canada colleagues arrived tonight and we were supposed to meet but they never got in touch; also fine. I worked out and then ate dinner in the buffet dining room, wrote up my notes from the trip, and did some research about opening a new checking account and an investment account. Things I started to do but could not bring myself to finish before leaving the US. Would have been wiser not to procrastinate but oh well. Need to call the banks and also Vanguard tomorrow because I'm employed overseas and apparently that makes things more complicated.

I'm not really nervous for tomorrow, at least not on the surface. The meetings I've had over the last week have been both energizing and confidence-boosting to some extent. I really do know what I'm talking about in some ways, and how to do at least some of the practical aspects of my job. There are certainly things that I will have to learn as I go, such as managing a team of people. Being responsible for the overall performance of other people is, if not really intimidating, then a little bit of a black box.

Plus, I've made my choice. I've taken the opportunity that was presented to me and there's really no going back. So what's the point of being nervous? I'll find out tomorrow, and next week, and the week after that, and the month after that whether I can do the job or not. Fingers crossed.

All those brave words having been said, let's see how easily I fall asleep tonight, haha. I think "haha" in that sense -- in the text message sense -- should be in the dictionary. Haha: interjection: 1. (used in written communication, primarily in internet- or mobile-based messaging services, to signal to a reader that a sentence or clause is meant humorously.)" It's already in the dictionary.

moving, part 1

After spending at least part of five of the last six days in the air, with a fairly packed meeting schedule on the ground, I arrived in Islamabad around 3:45 this morning. Took 45 minutes or so to get through immigration and get my bags, which is not bad. Arriving here has never actually been that much of a pain, it's leaving that's a mess. Will be interesting to see how well the new airport works whenever it finally opens.

Check-in was uneventful, except that the Serena is practically full at the moment so there were a lot of people at the desk. That makes me glad. Wrote a quick email to the fam to let them know that I'd arrived and passed out around 5. Woke to my alarm at 10 -- the harder I fight jet lag, the quicker I get over it, so didn't want to sleep until 2 or something -- and after lounging around for a bit dragged myself to the gym, showered, and then ate lunch. Now it's just after 3 and I'm at loose ends for the rest of the day. Will spend some time writing thank-you emails to the seemingly dozens (possibly literally dozens, I'll have to check) of people I met with between Monday and Thursday, writing up notes from the week, and starting to develop objectives for myself in preparation for talking about them with Akhtar soon. A couple of AKF Canada folks arrive tomorrow for a proposal workshop this week, part of which I'll help lead. But really I have no idea how much time I'll have for it: there is already an unholy amount of stuff to do. Here's hoping Akhtar's right about the people he's hired this year, because I'm about to get a crash course in delegate-or-die.

A few quick thoughts on Ottawa and London:

• Poutine is overrated.
• Ottawa is bilingual to an extent that surprised me.
• The Delegation building (where our office is in Ottawa) is beautiful.
• Canadians are friendly and our colleagues there really do have it easier than the other two donor offices, for all the reasons I suspected. That said, pressure is high to keep up and even expand what has been a spectacularly good relationship with the Canadian government.
• British people drive on the wrong side of the road but walk and use escalators properly, and their revolving doors go clockwise. I feel they should be more consistently wrong.
• It was lovely to see Jen in London after more than two years. We walked along some old canal from St Pancras to Camden -- which is gentrification-hip -- got a couple of beers/ciders and had fish and chips. She seems pretty happy, which was not the case as her time wound down in DC. 
• London, like New York, seems like a place I will be happy to continue to visit but not live. Just looked at real estate in Camden out of curiosity and it's actually cheaper than I'd have expected. But not cheap.
• Got some QT with three consecutive people who reported to Akhtar in Kabul, all of whom I was friends/friendly with from that time. It was really great to see them, and also to pick up a few tips. 
• I'm even more eager to get started on this job now than I was at the beginning of the week. The pace is going to be berserk but there is so much potential and so much excitement. 
• The US dollar is very strong right now.

Now, off to set up my Kindle (I finally caved on that front) and write some emails.

EDIT: Also, got a little pang just a minute ago when I remembered that today is C's birthday. We haven't spoken since April or May; I stopped reaching out after the last time for a couple of reasons that I won't get into here. But I might send her a message today. Feels weird. 

tinker, tailor

Just the best. 

introduction to card magic

What can I say? I've become fascinated by sleight of hand. This book inspired me to buy a few decks of cards and start practicing basic card handling. Fun.

the givenness of things

Much to wrestle with. It's easy enough to not along when she's criticizing contemporary American "Christian" society for its lack of Christian ethics, or when she's admonishing us all to be more compassionate and imaginative in the way we relate to those of us who are different from us in ways that make us angry. But among of Robinson's betes-noir are positivism and materialism and what she views as a reductionist way of looking at the world -- one associated with, for instance, neuroscientists who believe we can describe consciousness through imaging the brain. My own natural tendencies are positivist and, much more strongly, materialist. But, if I'm honest, I arrived at a materialist worldview without much in the way of critical engagement with the issue. It just feels right. Her confrontations, throughout the essays, of materialism, were both satisfying and frustrating, sometimes at once.

At the same time, I have to admit a couple of things. First, this is one of those books that I don't feel I'm ready to read: not old or wise enough to really understand some of what she's trying to convey. Second, Robinson's language is formal and arch and sometimes difficult to follow -- just a step below the technical-writing opacity that she disparages, if I'm feeling uncharitable or perhaps a bit sour-grapey. I don't often encounter books, other than books of poetry, that force close reading in order even to understand each sentence, and this book was challenging. Glad I decided against a philosophy degree in undergrad.

Verdict: not a book I will readily recommend unless I get into a deep conversation with someone about metaphysics. But one that I will reread before too long, in order to help myself understand her arguments, and whose ideas I will continue to turn over in my mind for the foreseeable future.